Lost and
weak, I seek for your help , distraught and
beaten , I ask for your help , with a few more breaths left in my lung , I still
long for you , the love that started with a first sight has always been fresh in my heart from that
very moment. I still can smell the fragrance of you , all around me , the love
that you gave me , has rotten my soul my mind and my heart , but I still wait
for you , sometimes I visit the places where we used to spent our evening
talking senseless and where I first kissed you , Oh! How great a feeling that was,
It was the day that I believed that I mattered to God, who gave me a purpose,
that purpose was to love you.
Then the
world got around me , I got greedy , I got selfish , I wanted to give you the
world , but it was I who wanted the world for himself , we could have been so
happy living a mediocre life , but I had to go away to get rich , not knowing
that the real happiness was with you.
But you
also could have waited for me , at least written me a letter , could have done
something which would make me come back , stopped me when I was going. You were
helpless by your ego and I was pathetically greedy, the greed that brought me
nothing but guilt is gone now, so are you, I am dying in the most expensive
hospital now, without you, without anyone one who purely loved me, I have hurt
so many people in my life , but I don’t feel for them , even though I ask for their
forgiveness , but I won’t deny that I don’t have a single drop of empathy for
them. This life given has never been fair to me , so I never expected people to
expect fairness to me , but from you I ask
forgiveness , from you I ask your return , I wish that you enter the room with
your dark hairs lying on your shoulders , the hair that cover your ear and
while you move towards to kiss my forehead , a portion of your hair would touch
my face and for once , I will be able to smell the fragrance of you , the you I
long for , I wish I get one last chance to tuck your hair behind that most
beautiful ear of the most beautiful face , while you smile and those little dimples
appear on your cheeks.
Now I don’t even know where you are, how that happened,
how I lost the one thing I cared the most.
My lungs
are about to give up , but I will not die like this , I don’t deserve to die
like this , I must try to get one other chance to let you know how much I love
you , when I started recording this , I was thinking that I would give it to
someone who would make sure that it gets to you or my voice is heard , but I don’t
trust anyone now , my last wish I have to fulfill myself , I have to look for
you myself , It just one last battle I have to fight and win , cause I know the
war is already been lost.
I have
loved you and it was you who made me strong, I have to ask forgiveness from you
and one more time, I want to kiss you like you had kissed me, The most powerful
man would not die like a vegetable, lying and counting his last breaths, I will
look for you and for I owe you that kiss and you owe me my pardon so that I could
depart easily.
