Next Step Moon

Lost and weak, I seek for your help  , distraught and beaten , I ask for your help , with a few more breaths left in my lung , I still long for you , the love that started with a first sight  has always been fresh in my heart from that very moment. I still can smell the fragrance of you , all around me , the love that you gave me , has rotten my soul my mind and my heart , but I still wait for you , sometimes I visit the places where we used to spent our evening talking senseless and where I first kissed you , Oh! How great a feeling that was, It was the day that I believed that I mattered to God, who gave me a purpose, that purpose was to love you.

Then the world got around me , I got greedy , I got selfish , I wanted to give you the world , but it was I who wanted the world for himself , we could have been so happy living a mediocre life , but I had to go away to get rich , not knowing that the real happiness was with you.

But you also could have waited for me , at least written me a letter , could have done something which would make me come back , stopped me when I was going. You were helpless by your ego and I was pathetically greedy, the greed that brought me nothing but guilt is gone now, so are you, I am dying in the most expensive hospital now, without you, without anyone one who purely loved me, I have hurt so many people in my life , but I don’t feel for them , even though I ask for their forgiveness , but I won’t deny that I don’t have a single drop of empathy for them. This life given has never been fair to me , so I never expected people to expect fairness to me , but from you  I ask forgiveness , from you I ask your return , I wish that you enter the room with your dark hairs lying on your shoulders , the hair that cover your ear and while you move towards to kiss my forehead , a portion of your hair would touch my face and for once , I will be able to smell the fragrance of you , the you I long for , I wish I get one last chance to tuck your hair behind that most beautiful ear of the most beautiful face , while you smile and those little dimples appear on your cheeks.

 Now I don’t even know where you are, how that happened, how I lost the one thing I cared the most.

My lungs are about to give up , but I will not die like this , I don’t deserve to die like this , I must try to get one other chance to let you know how much I love you , when I started recording this , I was thinking that I would give it to someone who would make sure that it gets to you or my voice is heard , but I don’t trust anyone now , my last wish I have to fulfill myself , I have to look for you myself , It just one last battle I have to fight and win , cause I know the war is already been lost.

I have loved you and it was you who made me strong, I have to ask forgiveness from you and one more time, I want to kiss you like you had kissed me, The most powerful man would not die like a vegetable, lying and counting his last breaths, I will look for you and for I owe you that kiss and you owe me my pardon so that I could depart easily.